my phone needs a breathalizer
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We need to get me chipped asap
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
