She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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