at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
