i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
