help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
