Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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