im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
as a side note pls kill me
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