Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
