He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
