It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
