Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
