If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
