How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
