I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
