Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
