My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
