idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
