So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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