I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
