I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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