I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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