Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
