So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
