She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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