you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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