wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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