he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
