plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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