Define "chronic" masturbator.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
