Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
