Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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