Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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