Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
