How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
