that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
