Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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