this beer tastes like vomit already
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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