Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
