You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
