You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
