Where is the hickey?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
