I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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