went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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