She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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