Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
