I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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