Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
