I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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