Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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