i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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